Do Pirates Taste Better

from by Marc Gunn

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My old band, Brobdingnagian Bards, used to ask dragons the question, "Do virgins taste better than those who are not?" It seemed only fitting when I started hanging around pirates hunting dragons that someone asked if pirates were any better.

lyrics

A dragon alit in our crow’s nest today
We’ve asked to leave, but he won’t go away
So we fired upon him and he fired back
Kentucky Fried Parrot is now our new snack

So we tried to ignore him, but there’s a small catch
He’s invited us to enter his own private hatch
Now he’s listing our ship, so we’re forced to agree
It’s either his gullet or the cold briny sea

* Do pirates taste better than those who are not?
We know they’re more salty, does that keep them from rot?
Do they slide down more quickly or in teeth do get caught?
Do pirates taste better than those who are not?

Now, we’d like him to go, and many have shoo’d
And the results were they got their butts chewed
Ol’ Peg-Leg Bill was the last to get nicked
And an old wooden leg makes a handy toothpick

Now he wants the appetizers all fresh and all warm
And he wants them arranged and in pleasant form
He insists on a main course after the entrée
Is this wyrm taking lessons from Gordon Ramsay?

Now, we’d all like this to end as quickly as can
For there’s one terror left for all of the men
And if we don’t swiftly settle this squall
For dessert he’ll have tasty pirate rum balls

credits

from Pirates vs. Dragons, released July 27, 2016
lyrics Rie Sheridan Rose, music Marc Gunn

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Marc Gunn Birmingham, Alabama

Marc Gunn is a rhythm and folk musician inspired by Celtic culture, science fiction, fantasy, and cats. He breathes new life into the autoharp, which continues to surprise musical veterans and fans a like for it’s unique sound and spirited energy. It’s like a satirical jam session between The Clancy Brothers and Weird Al Yankovic. It’s Celtic music, the traditional and the twisted. ... more

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