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Don't Go Drinking With Hobbits

from What Color Is Your Dragon? by Marc Gunn



The idea for this song began in 2004 at DragonCon. I went drinking with hobbits on Friday. By Sunday, I had no voice left (okay, it was actually the Con crude, but still…). Ever since then, I thought I should write a song about why you shouldn't go drinking with hobbits from Lord of the Rings. And maybe one day, I'll record a CD of hobbit drinking songs. It would be fun to do. From my CD What Color Is You Dragon?.


Don't go drinking with hobbits.
Sure, you'll [F]have a grand time all night long.
But if you go drinking with hobbits, my friends
You may not want to wake up at all.

They were thoughtful and kind when they invited me to drink,
A lone human among hobbitkind.
They bought me a half, then another and one more
And told stories of days long gone by.
The brew was strong. My glass never empty,
As if time stood still and bare.
But when I awoke the next morning
I felt like Old Smaug had been there.

You may wonder how it all happened.
Well, I'm still wondering what happened too.
I had tea, dinner, and supper.
Quite full, I thought I was through.
But they insisted I come to the Flagon
And drink to the health of new friends.
But when I go there, I met more hobbit friends
And the toasts seemed never to end.

When the sun it rose the next morning,
And I lifted my head from my drool,
There were beer mugs spilled on the tables
And hobbits lying next to their stools.
A young hobbit lass grinned cross the barroom
And nudged each of my new hobbit friends.
Then sometime after second breakfast
We all started drinking again.

I left Hobbiton a few days later.
My head it was swollen and sore.
It felt like a dwarven anvil
After a terrible war.
I don't think I'll ever recover
From the food, the drink, and the cheer.
And I swear I'll never drink with hobbits again
At least, not till I see them next year.


from What Color Is Your Dragon?, released August 7, 2008
Lyrics and music by Marc Gunn
Marc Gunn: autoharp, banjo, vocals




Marc Gunn Atlanta, Georgia

Marc Gunn is a rhythm and folk musician inspired by Celtic culture, science fiction, fantasy, and cats--Sci F'Irish music.

He breathes new life into the autoharp, which continues to surprise musical veterans and fans alike for its unique sound and spirited energy. It’s like a satirical jam session between The Clancy Brothers and Weird Al Yankovic.
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