Gollum Blues

from by Marc Gunn

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  • Hear ye! Hear ye! Let it be known that ye first edition of The Medieval Virgin is now available. This magazine chronicles the struggle felt by virgins and dragons alike as they seeketh to answer ye age-old question, "Do virgins taste better than those who are not?"

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about

I was flying on a plane to Italy and tired of trying to come up with song ideas for Memories of Middle Earth when I decided to listen to the airline music. I flipped channels, heard an old blues song, turned off the music and wrote this comical song based on Gollum of the Lord of the Rings. I recently re-released on my new CD What Color Is Your Dragon?.

lyrics

Old Bilbo found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Old Bilbo found a ring. It was The One Ring of the Dark Lord.
Now I'm hunted by a schizo. Be it Smeagol or Gollum, he's out of his gourd.

Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Yeah, Sauron tortured Gollum, but the slimy runt got away.
Now he's leading me to Mordor, wonders if Sam and I are gay.

* I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues.
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues.
And if Smeagol don't betray me,
…The Dark Lord'll make Headline News.
…Sauron'll make the hobbits wear shoes.
…Middle-Earth'll sing The Dark Lord Blues.
…The Dark Lord'll serve hobbit stew. [tastes like chicken]
…We'll lick stamps made from hobbit glue.
…Samwise better learn some Kung Fu.

At the Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, “They ain't no way!” [They ain't no way, my Precious-s-s]
At the Gates of Mordor, Smeagol said, “They ain't no way!” [Silly hobbits-s-s, follow Smeagol]
Said, “I'll take you to Shelob. She'll have a hobbit filet.”

Well, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked. [Out of my mind]
Yeah, we climbed Mount Doom, but the ring made me all whacked. [The precious-s-s is mine!]
So Gollum bit the ring off, and did a Swan Dive in the Crack.

I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues.
I got the Psychopathic, Chronic, Schziophrenic Gollum Blues.
And if Gollum'll just betray me,
I'll finally take that Elven Cruise!

credits

from What Color Is Your Dragon?, released August 7, 2008
Lyrics and music by Marc Gunn, 12/22/2002
Marc Gunn: autoharp, vocals

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Marc Gunn Birmingham, Alabama

Marc Gunn is a rhythm and folk musician inspired by Celtic culture, science fiction, fantasy, and cats. He breathes new life into the autoharp, which continues to surprise musical veterans and fans a like for it’s unique sound and spirited energy. It’s like a satirical jam session between The Clancy Brothers and Weird Al Yankovic. It’s Celtic music, the traditional and the twisted. ... more

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