Ever notice how cats stare off into nothingness? You can’t help but wonder what they’re thinking. Watch out if you try to help them decide. This parody of my song “Johnny at the Door” is on my CD Whiskers in the Jar: Irish Songs for Cat Lovers.
Kitty awoke on a crisp winter morn;
And looked through the door at the hill.
And he mewed to mistress to show his distress
As he made his way to the sill.
But the wind was sharp and cold that day;
And the rustling grass caused him fears,
So kitty sat with the door open
Not moving except for his ears, singing…
“I’ll go outside a while;
But then, I might just stay in.
Yes, I’ll sit and think a bit
And I’ll neither go out nor stay in.”
It was a cold morning, went straight to his bones
Oh, he wished that he had him a mouse.
Just one loud squeak, and he’d eat for a week;
But he’d have to go out of the house.
Oh his mouth watered with the thought of mice
But it was too cold to decide,
And not even threats could make him step through
The door, and saunter outside. He sang…
Kitty sat there half the day
And into the house wind did moan;
And he thought about each dire consequence
Of the things he might do all alone.
Oh, he might wet his paws, or break hunting laws,
Or catch a fat mouse for his prey.
He might meet his end, or he might meet a friend.
But still he just sat and he’d say…
His mistress came to the end of her rope
And she gave a terrible shout.
With the knob in her hand and an evil grin
‘Twas her toe, that shoved kitty out!
Kitty fluffed out his fur as he sat on the stoop
And he gave her a baleful green glare,
It was cold on his toes, and his little wet nose.
“You can’t make me go out of my lair!” He said…
When the door slid open, a cold wind blew in
And there sat the cat in a crouch.
With a bird in his jaws and fresh mud on his paws,
The bad kitty jumped up on the couch!
“Here’s a gift for you!” and away the bird flew
As he tracked the mud on the chair.
“You should know better, when I’m deep in thought!
You can’t make me get off of my rear!” He sang…
from Whiskers in the Jar,
released January 1, 2008
“Kitty at the Door” (parody of “I’ll Drinking From Dusk Til Dawn”)
by Lynn McKinney
Marc Gunn is a rhythm and folk musician inspired by Celtic culture, science fiction, fantasy, and cats--Sci F'Irish
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