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Those Characters Died

from Sci Fi Drinking Songs by Marc Gunn

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  • Compact Disc
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    In one hand, a pint of Mudder’s Milk, in the other a bottle of Romulan Ale. Sing and laugh along with this Celtic Geek musical gem.

    A Jedi saunters up to the bar at the Pub at the End of the Universe. “Gimme a Romulan Ale.”

    “I’m sorry,” the Publican replies, “That’s still illegal.”

    “What?! It’s been 52 million years and the universe is about to explode. Surely, you can serve it NOW?!”

    “I’m sorry, Sir,” he replies apologetically, “And please don’t call me Shirlely.”

    “All right, I’ll take a mudder’s milk, Monahan’s, please”.

    Drinking can be found throughout the universe from Earth to Praxis, from Canton to Skaro. Come on, you know Davros was drinking something when he came up with the Daleks. In fact, I think The Doctor was there drinking with him.

    What’s just as prevalent as drinking in the galaxy?

    Drinking songs.

    In fact, Sci Fi Drinking Songs aren’t just about drinking. They’re fun songs that you and I can sing along to while we’re in cars traveling to a Sci Fi Convention or Renaissance Festival. They’re songs we put on in the background while playing Dungeons & Dragons or Magic:The Gathering.

    Sci Fi Drinking Songs are fun songs designed to make us laugh, cry, smile, and above all SING!
    Get a free songbook with purchase!

    Plus, you'll also get lyrics never before revealed to the naked eye. It's all there in this fantastic songbook.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sci Fi Drinking Songs via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    I present you with a shirt that's several years in the works. The front of the shirt features a quote from the "Jedi Drinking Song Prequel".

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  • Button/Pin/Patch + Digital Album

    Introducing the "Star Trek Musical Pin" – a must-have for fans of both Star Trek and Marc Gunn's Sci-Fi Drinking Songs album! This enamel pin not only lets you showcase your love for the iconic Star Trek franchise but also proudly wear Marc Gunn's fantastic album on your sleeve, quite literally.

    By donning this pin, you'll instantly become a walking, talking ambassador of great music and interstellar exploration. It's a conversation starter, a piece of art, and a badge of honor all rolled into one. Don't miss out on the chance to flaunt your fandom and musical taste with this unique and stylish accessory.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sci Fi Drinking Songs via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography Full Digital Discography

    Get all 28 Marc Gunn releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Come Adventure With Me, Selcouth, St Patrick's Day, As Long As I'm Flyin', Flower of Scotland, Pirates vs. Dragons, St Patrick's Day Songs for Kids, Celtic Christmas Greetings, and 20 more. , and , .

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lyrics

Rat robbed a dragon level 32 beware,
Little did he know it was Tiamat’s lair
Runt went to Tiamat to seek is revenge,
is hairy halfling toes were completely singed
Dag was backstabbed drinking beer, What a way to end his career!

Those are characters who died, died,
Those are characters who died, died
Those are characters who died, died,
Those are characters who died, died
They were all my characters, and they died.

Kablina wore a Quiver of Ehlonna on his back,
A Staff of the Magi he wielded for attacks
With magic rings and cloaks and spells he couldn’t lose
A giant got a crit, he was knocked out of his shoes
Kablina saved kingdoms for heaven’s sake, I can’t believe he died.

Keff was bitten by an ugly lycanthrope,
He lived a happy life, but was strangled by a rope
Sir Feta was a Paladin and defender of the faith
He was killed by undead and came back as a wraith
That wraith killed King Zimbar. They were characters of mine!

Cathng was an elf, who wasn’t quite right
He hacked off body parts and started organ fights
He took on a horde of hobgoblins all alone
Body parts started flying one caught him with a bone
Cathng only smiled at the irony. Before he died.

A roll of the dice and Cu Stronghold was the best
With his falchion sword and leather armor on his chest
He summoned a pseudo dragon and rode a magic rug
Til his familiar was enfeebled by one of his own thugs.
Then Cu was killed by his enfeebled dragon. Why did they have to die?

Nehaunta was a cleric as wise as can be.
He got a ring of wishes while only level three.
What kind of dungeon master would let him raise his stats
It was me so I killed him off with some vampire bats.
I don’t remember him, but he died.

Creld was a magic-user, thief acrobat
A good grey elf with a familiar black cat
No way he to be defeated while in the Dirkwood Forest
His psionics got him killed in a battle with a florist.
A florist? Is that really what happened? How did he die?

Delmar was a figher of great reknown
He fought so well that he won the Greyhawk throne
With a thousand hit points in a Monty Haul campaign
He died fighting Gods and I had to flush him down the drain
Delmar should’ve died sooner. He was a character of mine.

I found all these characters in a notebook from youth
The memories flooded back and I’m telling you the truth
I look back now and wonder how on earth I lasted
With so many characters lying dead in their caskets
I have so many fond memories… Of how they all died!

credits

from Sci Fi Drinking Songs, released September 18, 2014
“Those Characters Died” lyrics by Marc Gunn
D&D parody of “People Who Died” by Jim Carroll

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Marc Gunn Atlanta, Georgia

Marc Gunn is a rhythm and folk musician inspired by Celtic culture, science fiction, fantasy, and cats--Sci F'Irish music.

He breathes new life into the autoharp, which continues to surprise musical veterans and fans alike for its unique sound and spirited energy. It’s like a satirical jam session between The Clancy Brothers and Weird Al Yankovic.
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